Several years ago my friend Kenny and I started talking about ourselves, people in general, motivation, fear, success, failure, desire and how all of it – all of this primal thinking is driven by basic instinct. We started to refer to any kind of pre-programmed behavior that we wanted to overcome as Old Code.
Have you ever noticed that almost everyone is afraid of snakes and spiders, but comparatively very few people are afraid of dogs even though dogs are everywhere, and you walk past strange, unfamiliar dogs multiple times a day? Nobody cares when they see an ant, or a June Bug, or a Luna Moth but a spider can stop you in your tracks for a moment, same thing with a snake. Why? Old Code.
Old Code is universal – a professor I had years ago referred to this as “Biogenetic Structuralism”, a term he coined that referred to the universal shared experiences/opinions of human beings. He found it fascinating that different cultures who had zero interaction with each other, often from other sides of the planet nevertheless shared certain symbols common opinions. A baker in Manhattan is just as alarmed by a snake or a spider as a Nomad in the desert.
Pam Anderson is obvious Old Code. While Pam Anderson (the, er, actress?) may not represent what you are looking for in an ideal mate, she certainly catches your eye. I realize that your personal preference might be Thandie Newton, and I don’t blame you, but you cannot deny that Cartoon Pam Anderson catches your eye. She is a combination of natural and man-made Old Code. The Universe gave her some gifts, and so too did some reasonably talented plastic surgeons in California. All of it comes together as an incredibly powerful force that immediately catches your attention, that puts into motion all kinds of chemical reactions inside your body that control your thinking.
What my friend Ken and I started talking about years ago on the chair lift at www.Tremblant.ca was whether or not we could overcome our own Old Code. We agreed that the Old Code was out of date – and made no sense anymore. In fact, while we appreciated that it had a purpose, our position was that Old Code could also harm you, and often does.
We think that the reason all humans universally fear snakes and spiders is because somewhere, really deep in our brains is a reminder that snakes and spiders can kill you. Its evolution, although we may not live near poisonous snakes and spiders the Old Code responsible for alerting us remains ever vigilant. Old Code never seems to ease off – the threat advisory is never downgraded to “boring small spider”, it’s always “ohmygodaspiderkillit!”
From an evolutionary standpoint, when choosing suitable mates, hetero-sexual males will be attracted to the “hour glass figure”. This is what the scientists tell us. Millions upon millions of years of evolution (oops, there goes the Creationist demographic I was planning to cultivate) has taught us to look for mates who can survive child birth. Shape, and skin tone and physical condition are all signs that we pick up on subconsciously that tell us about the health of a potential mate. Once chemistry is involved, your choices and chances are limited.
Hetero sexual women like men that are tall (good for me) and broad shouldered (not so much) with big powerful chests and arms (I can always stay up late and read I guess). The thinking is that when you partner up with a big strong man he will keep all the other perhaps dangerous big strong men away. When he isn’t doing that he can kill things for food and/or plow the field, both literally and figuratively.
But in 2010, do women really need big strong men? Is a big strong man more suited to survival in our society than say … a computer engineer with a great job and excellent values and a medical plan?
OLD CODE CAN MAKE YOU DO DUMB THINGS
Old Code is very old, and therefore very powerful. Old Code is real, and it lives in the oldest part of your brain – your Lizard Brain – that has been around for longer than our “upper mammalian brain” that is responsible for reason. The older the code – the more powerful it is, and the more difficult it is to overcome. Old Code loves you – and Old Code doesn’t want to see you get hurt, or miss out. Old Code wants to feed your basic human appetites, and Old Code wants to keep you safe – too safe.
Here is a good example – the stock market gets the stuffing out of it, now stocks of good companies are really cheap, or on sale as they stock brokers say. But Old Code tells us not to buy it, avoid it, don’t lose more, flee to safety and stay there, “wait until its expensive, then buy it when it’s safe.” The newer part of your brain is trying to win with reasonable arguments “come on DMW, buy more BMO stock, its $27 a share down from $60” but my Lizard is telling me the opposite – its throwing any sense out the window, “get out, sell when you are down, something left over is better than nothing left over.”
Old Code will make you hesitate when you should leap.
Old Code will make you eat too much even though you desperately want to lose weight.
Old Code will make you believe you can’t do something because you have not done it before.
Sweetie’s sister is a Registered Massage Therapist and I have been talking to her about the next evolution of her business – which is to hire people to work for her, and to train them to do a massage her way, which is fantastic. Michelle agrees that this is what needs to be done – she can spend her time learning new techniques and teach her staff, ensuring that she remains ahead of the curve. She told me that one problem she could see was that other RMTs could come in, learn her secrets, and walk and set up their own shop.
That is likely never going to happen. For every 1 Michelle there are at least 19 others who will listen to their Old Code and never, ever, make the move to own their own business, they would prefer to work for someone else, to let someone else take on all the responsibility of managing the enterprise. These same 19 people might go home every night for years and talk about how they could do it better, but Old Code is always going to talk them out of it. When Michelle and I talk about this I always warn her to make sure her own Old Code isn’t telling her to wait on her own business and future.
I have an enviable work/life balance. Of course I work hard, its July and I have not flown in 3 weeks but since last January I have flown over 70 times to speak at conferences, and I have spent about 3 months living in different hotels. I’m not doing too much work in August, but by December 31st I will have flown over 100 times for (I think) the 10th year in a row. I work a lot. And when I am on the road working, my days are often 18 hrs long. I’m not looking for sympathy; I just want to make sure you get the full picture.
But right now I’m up at my lake, sitting on the porch looking at the water typing while the girls sleep away the early morning. Not surprisingly everyone I know suddenly wants to be me.
The only reason they feel that way is because the option isn’t there. They could all be me, but they would have to overcome their Old Code, and that is really difficult. Better to go to work, and be told what to do than risk it all. Now this is all a matter of opinion, but I feel that the greater risk is living an ordinary life where one day, inevitably you accept that everything should have been … more.
BUY THE TICKET TAKE THE RIDE
That’s what Hunter S. Thompson would tell you, and once again Hunter and I are sympatico. Stop giving your Old Code power. Its Old Code that stops you from calling a prospect that you know you could help. Old Code tells you to not write your series 7 exam and become a Financial Advisor, and it’s Old Code that prevents you from calling a lawyer to discuss your $1,000,000 idea. It’s Old Code that gets you to settle, and accept. And finally it’s Old Code that says “this is the way it is, and this isn’t so bad.”
It’s Old Code that tells me “Wait Dennis, don’t publish this blog, someone might read it and think you are crazy, or that you are a terrible writer. Don’t put anything about Pam Anderson, they might think you are dangerous, and they might not call you to speak at their conference.”
Had my mom thought that way she never would have moved across the country at 17 to become a nurse. She never would have met my dad. Had my dad started to listen to his Old Code he wouldn’t have started his own business and I never would have had him as my dad, I would have had some lookalike pretender as my role model that worked for someone else and came home resenting his boss. What a horrible example that would have been.
Live by the rules you set. Get inspired. Buy the ticket, take the ride.
And listen to Like it Too Much by The Kaiser Chiefs which is what is playing now in the cabin and I think it’s appropriate, and a little cosmic.
